Sometimes I feel like I’m blocked and I can’t write anything. I guess they call it writer’s block.
Or rather, I can write things— I can start things, but I can’t finish them. I have about twenty half finished blog posts/essays/articles/papers right now. And I can’t seem to get them over the line.
It’s at times like these that I think it’s all going badly— that this blog writing experiment is going wrong. Maybe it’s all a waste of time.
But I remember that this is why I’m doing it— what I’m doing it for. It’s challenging me— pushing me outside my comfort zone— trying to get me to try new things— write in new ways. It’s all just practice. And “practice is what I do”1!
Today at tldraw, I gave a mini internal pitch, and I’m pleased with how it went. Whatever happens— Whether we do it or not, I’m happy with it— I did better than what I could do before. I could feel myself writing it in my head beforehand, and in realtime during the thing.
“With code it’s all about execution.”
I’m trying to get better at telling stories— transmitting code. Sometimes it sounds manipulative. I want to communicate effectively— influence people. But how do I know my stories are the right ones to tell? How does anyone?
They’re the messages I want to give, but how much does my own preference count? I catch myself getting caught on this question.
I’ve been asking some people I trust recently:
“With your work— your research, are you trying to solve problems? Or are you trying to influence people?”
The answer is usually “to influence people”. And I don’t know if I take comfort or discomfort from knowing I’m the same as everyone else. After all, why would my ideas be any better— any more correct than anyone else’s?
Essentially, how do I know my words are the right ones? How do I know that my code is worth transmitting at this place and time— time and place— place and time— right here, right now.
I don’t want to create a tangible narrative. I don’t want to have a guiding principle because I’m not arrogant enough to think that I already know what it should be.
I am here to practise, at this point. I am trying to learn. I will get better at influencing people, for god knows what. I will get better at being empathetic. I will get better at making sand. I will get better at normalising sharing scrappy fiddles.
However it may look to you, these are all things I struggle with a lot. But I will get better!
Is this all too cheesy? Is this too much?
Back to the wikiblogarden.