Is your work about “influencing people” or is it about “solving hard problems”?
Here’s my answer to that question.
I don’t know— it’s really hard to say because I’m not really sure what I’m doing and I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing either1. I’m trying to “learn” and I’m trying to “practise”2 I guess. And maybe one day I’ll have a clearer picture!
The reason I asked so many people is because it’s something I don’t know the answer to.
This is my current answer:
I think I see it as a failing whenever I have to solve a hard problem myself. I have so little time that I can’t afford to spend time on that sort of thing. Also I know myself too well, and I know that I’ll end up spending too much time on working away at problems, rather than reaching anyone, or having any impact, or collaborating.
I only ever build something myself after I’ve failed to convince someone else to build it. I call this moment “the bite”3. It’s when I can see a potential for something that other people can’t. It’s not a positive moment— it feels like giving up. Like “ok fine I’ll just build it myself…”
I mean, let’s look at an example.
This is how cellpond happened.
At the time, I was chatting loads with other people working in that space, like people in the T2 Tile community, and also people like Max Bittker and Murilo Polese. I watched as they built tools like Alchemi Online and SPLATy Code which experimented with new ways of enabling spatial programming.
Among those projects, there were still some limits with expressivity, and some failed experiments with “conservation”. And so I was thinking and talking through some weird “splitting and merging” ideas with people. But there were some issues with it — some missing pieces that stopped it working in practice.
And then one day I suddenly came up with this “stamping” idea, and I remember explaining it to Murilo and Max and they both thought it sounded weird. Like, they couldn’t imagine it. And it was at that moment that I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. At that point, I knew that there was only one way of demonstrating the concept.
“I guess I have to build this thing.”
FAILURE.
I failed to influence someone else to build it— I failed to communicate it— I had to do it myself.
So then I spent years and years building it. I built three prototypes. The first one was very dodgy and barely worked. I made all the wrong choices, but it was enough to build a short video about it4.
Then I built another version, swearing to myself that I wouldn’t make the same mistakes again. Then I made the same mistakes again.
Then I built another version, swearing to myself that I wouldn’t make the same mistakes again. And this time I didn’t make the same mistakes again, and I ended up going with some unconventional decisions to make it work5.
And it stuck around and I roughed out its edges6 and people asked me to talk about it789.
Wait.
I feel like I’m coming at this answer the wrong way.
The reason I do stuff is…
I guess the reason I make stuff is that it’s a way for me to express myself. Five years later and I find myself dragged into the research-y world because they occasionally like some of my stuff. And I find myself getting dragged more and more into the research-y world, having to do things the research-y way, and I notice my work suffering because of it.
Is your work about “influencing people” or is it about “solving hard problems”?
The first one. I want to promote empathy and make computers better. I already said this in my artist statement!
And I am only interested in reaching imaginative and kind people. I don’t care about anyone else.
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