“Passing” is when a trans person is perceived as their intended gender.
And it’s obviously a bullshit idea.
I HOPE YOU LIKE RANTS!!!!!!
Some people ask, “Do I pass?” and that’s a ridiculous question in so many ways.
One of those ways is: Everyone sees you differently. You don’t either “pass” or “not pass”. Everyone sees you differently!!
One person might think you’re a man. One person might think you’re a woman. One person might think you’re “a non-binary”. One person might not know. And I just think you’re a fool!!
Who knows what preconceived notions any single person has on how to determine your gender? Some people assume all women have long hair, or hairless legs. To them, you may or may not pass depending on what you’re going for. This could be a blessing or a curse.
Either way, are they the kind of person you want to base your entire presentation around? Do you really want to pass to everyone? No you don’t / you shouldn’t.
Passing is bullshit.
“Passing” makes all sorts of awful assumptions about what certain genders must look / sound like.
It leans into sexist biases / stereotypes / tropes.
What does a woman look like? What does a man look like? What does a non-binary person look like?
They can look any way they want, of course.
Why can’t a woman have facial hair? Why can’t a man wear makeup? Why can’t a non-binary person look hyperfeminine? or hypermasculine? They can! They can! Of course they can.
Tear down the bullshit rules that stop these things from happening. Passing is bullshit. Passing is bullshit.
Why are you trying to be “stealthy” about your gender?
Stealth is when you “pass” to such an extent that people don’t even know you’re trans. As if you’d like to hide that.
Why hide the fact that you’re trans? It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
In my opinion, we should be “out” in every sense of the word. Don’t hide the fact that you’re trans. Let everybody know. Continually. Time and time again, passing is bullshit.
Some people have to do stealth for their own personal safety. They have to “pass” so that they don’t get attacked or persecuted or whatever.
And this is, of course, bullshit. It’s ridiculous / horrendous that people have to hide who they are just to exist peacefully. It’s genocide. It’s blatant. It’s bullshit!
So, yes, passing is bullshit. Passing is bullshit! Even when it’s required, especially when it’s required, passing is bullshit.
Evil transphobe dick-heads often complain that trans people don’t “pass”. As in, they complain that “trans women look like men” or something like that.
But at the same time, they also restrict and remove access to tools that make it easier to “pass”.
So which one is it, arse-holes? Do you want people to pass or not? You can’t have it both ways!
It’s really hard to “pass” when medical transition is so restricted. It’s an extremely challenging battlefield to navigate. So resist! Resist! Don’t pass. Because passing is bullshit.
“Passing” assumes a binary. It’s when you “seem to be” another gender to what you were (supposedly) born as. But this relies on the existence of distinct known categories.
Maybe it could make sense for trans men and trans women. (It doesn’t, but it could). But passing will never make sense for non-binary people.
You can’t pass as non-binary. You can’t not pass as non-binary. It’s a made up concept. Language doesn’t support it. It’s not implementable. Passing is—
Some people tell me “I would transition… but I won’t pass.” And where do I begin?
Firstly, there’s an incorrect assumption that “transition” only means changing your appearance, through social and medical means. When really, transition encompasses everything, from sharing your thoughts, discovering yourself, self-acceptance, forgiveness.
Secondly, their internalised transphobia / misogyny is on show. They think that trans people “have to pass” / “should pass” and they spread this myth.
Thirdly— I don’t even—
Transition is—
Some people would like you to believe that transition happens instantly. You go to bed one day as a man/woman/whatever. You wake up the next as a man/woman/whatever.
That’s not how change works.
But this idea is propagated by society on the whole. It says “You’re either a man or a woman. There is no in between.”
Transition doesn’t involve a “mode switch”. It’s not a gear shift. It means realising that you were always changing, and nothing is holding you back from being who you are.
Transition takes for fuckin ever. It happens very slowly, but it happens.
It starts when you’re born. It ends when you die. The rest is transition.
Don’t pass!
Don’t pass!
Because passing is bullshit.
It leans in
To harmful ideas
That make things worse.
Passing is bullshit.
I know, I know. We can’t help it sometimes. Our idiot monkey-brain sees someone, and wires activate, and neurons fire, and we clock that person as some sort of way.
“They’re a woman.”
“They’re a man.”
“They’re a—”
But we must resist this primal temptation. We’re smarter than that now, and it’s no excuse.
And often the things that fire our brains are not what we expect. Our eyes get influenced by the texture of your skin, but they completely ignore an adams apple.
So train yourself / deprogram yourself to not be so judging. Do much less clocking, because as we now know: Passing is bullshit.
Even non-trans people get caught up in this. A woman who “passes” too much like a man gets thrown out the loo.
For their sake and ours, we must continually affirm that passing is bullshit because it is. Passing is bullshit.
This is why we must normalise sharing scrappy fiddles. So that we create a world where the sloppy in-between stages of gender are on-limits.
We haven’t normalised sharing scrappy fiddles until passing is dead. Because—
Being trans is not about what you do. It’s nothing about what you do.
Being trans is about who you are. It’s who you are. It’s who you are!
(and passing is bullshit)
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