Here’s why I try to be annoyingly visibly queer.
A common homophobic trope is for someone to say “I don’t mind gay people, but they shouldn’t go making it their whole personality”.
“Gay people shouldn’t go shouting it from the rooftops.”
And it’s obviously a load of hateful rubbish. It’s a way of forcing queer people to stay hidden and feel ashamed. It’s a damaging bit of natural code that serves to divide us all.
The idea becomes regularly institutionally adopted, with schemes like don’t ask don’t tell in mighty america. And when I was in school, we had section 28 over here, which prevented anyone from acknowledging the existence of queer people, full stop.
Altogether, many queer people (myself included) have sometimes thought that they need to keep their true selves hidden.
“That’s inappropriate”
or “That’s too personal”
or “That’s unprofessional”
are all phrases that can get repeated to you by many.
So, of course, many queer people try to please and appease the straight/cis people around them, and keep it all hidden, or quiet at the very least. They try to be “one of the good ones”, not one of those “noisy” queer people.
Obviously, straight/cis people don’t have to hide themselves. Heterosexuality is deeply embedded in our culture, from the films we watch, to the music we hear, not to mention the constant bombardment of adverts telling us how to “be a man” or “be a woman”. From cinderella to 99 problems to the royal wedding, straightness is publicly plastered across our eyeballs.
I’m a fan of all three, which is maybe a moral failing on my part.
Regardless, it doesn’t take a genius to see the discrepancy, and it doesn’t take a genius to realise that there’s no need to hide your sexuality or gender or whatever - whether you’re straight or cis or gay or bi or trans or anything. It’s a pretty menial fact about you that you have very little control over, maybe none. So it shouldn’t be a controversial aspect of you as a person, and it’s ok to share it. I think that we should normalise sharing it.
At some point in my life, I decided to be as annoyingly visibly queer as possible. It’s my stubborn attempt to turn the wheel back in the other direction, and to try to make queerness less taboo. I’m just one random person, so there’s only so much that I can do, but I may as well give it a go. And occasionally, people do reach out to me to say how they appreciated me sharing something. It can make the world less lonely out there for one or two people, so I highly encourage you to do the same (if you’re queer).
Because of my stubbornness, and my immaturity, I try to be as annoying as possible by refusing to say what my sexuality or gender actually is. Partly because I have no idea, partly because it doesn’t matter, partly because it’s fun, partly because it’s realistic, but mostly because it’s my minor act of rebellion against the heteronormative desire to put people in boxes.
Not all queer people are like me, and that’s ok, and sometimes other queer people don’t like my approach. But it feels true for me. It makes me feel free.
As queer culture drifts more into the mainstream, queer people are becoming more and more visible.
I’m pleased to see people be so loudly queer on television, and online and stuff, in whatever way feels right for them. Whether that’s by being very camp, or butch, or loud, or quiet (loudly quiet - you know it makes sense). They pave the way for all the rest of us, so that we may also show the world what ‘being queer’ means for us.
So if you see me tweet or toot or write or skeet about being [censored] or [censored] or whatever, and you start to think “Wow, Lu sure does make a big deal out of this” or “He sure do post a lot about being queer” or “Maybe she should tone it down a bit” or “They do seem to love the attention they get from this”, then I’m doing something right.
Back to the wikiblogarden.